She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
