That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
