Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
