How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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