Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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