Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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