I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
