So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
