you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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