Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
