bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
