You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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