For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize