Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
