Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
