Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
