I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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