i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
