Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
