everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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