Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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