Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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