Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
