Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
