And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
