White coat. Heels.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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