I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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