nut hugger
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
