I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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