how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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