I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
