I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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