For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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