JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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