How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
