names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
