i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
