We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
