I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
