The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
