oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
