im about as happy as oj after his trial
they need to just BURY HIM!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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