sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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