I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
