You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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