Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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