i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
