somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
