I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
