sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
