More tranny stories later!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
