There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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