YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
